This One's For All the Girls....

Ok so I'm going to try to be terribly honest here and open up a topic that I think 99% of women rarely discuss but always think about. The reason for this post comes as a response to a discussion that I happened to fall into with a couple girlfriends the other night. For whatever reason we got onto the topic of  "clicks" and "popularity," "impressions" and "intimidation."

Let me take you back a little bit to my days in high school and university days...just so you can get an idea of what kind of girl I was.

I was shy.
I didn't wear name brand name clothes.
I shopped at the Goodwill.
I didn't drink, party or smoke.
I didn't go to sleepovers mainly because I was a home body and afraid of drinking, smoking and drugs.
I was in band and a quintet.
I was in multiple choirs.
I danced 6 days a week.
I was totally a nerd (like seriously, I shed tears if I got below a certain grade in any class)
I never stayed out late or did things with friends.
In fact aside from my bestie at school I often felt utterly and completely alone.
I was a skinny toothpick with no boobs.
I took a Grade 9 to my prom because no one would ask me and I had no other guys friends to go with. 
I didn't kiss a boy until I was 18.
I didn't date a boy until I was 19.
I was definitely and most certainly not ever popular.

For most of my life I have felt like the odd one out. Even among those friends I have had, I have never felt like I truly belonged. I was often left out of events and get togethers- I was never invited to parties. I was incredibly shy so I rarely spoke to anyone, but I had a very confident carriage thanks to my years of ballet training. This combination led to what I became aware of as, "looking like a snob."

I kind of just accepted that this is what people thought of me and went with it (still do sometimes.)

The popular girls would always stare me down at school and when I went to church activities I could feel the girls whispers whenever I walked in the room. I pretty much had no friends, save my little sister and her girls friends because she was much more charismatic than I.

I really was alone, and top it off (as I've mentioned) I was a dancer.

Some may think that this would be amazing- well yes it was what I loved and it brought immense joy to my life, but it also came with a price. Let just say that criticism is a major component of dance and unfortunately there are many dance teachers out there who do nothing more than tear you down and make you feel like nothing more than a body full of flaws, never good enough to live up to their expectations, not talented enough to have that solo, or skinny enough to wear a certain costume on stage. In dance your errors are always magnified in front of a mirror and plain for you to see. While it was something I loved it was also something that made me incredibly self critical and never satisfied with who I was.

Ok so to bring this back around to what I hope to discuss here-

I may have looked skinny and beautiful to other girls, but I often felt horrible about who I was. I didn't have any real friends who I could open up to, boys never spoke to me and I could never dream of being asked out on a date. I didn't fit in, even with my ballet girls who were much cooler and had way more friends than I could ever hope for. There was always someone prettier, skinnier, cooler, better dressed and more talented than me.

Now the point of this is not make you all feel sorry for me- its to raise awareness that we all feel like this. I'm quite certain (especially after the discussion that I had with my gal pals) that as women we are ALWAYS comparing ourselves to others.

Now that I'm a mom it's a whole new avenue of comparisons but they are all still there- there's always someone who looks like they have it all together and maybe that person is me- but trust me I don't have it all together! There are plenty of women out there who I look at with a little pang of envy because they own a  house, or have an awesome job, or an amazing sense of style, or more education then me, or a wicked talent, or adorable children, or a cool car, or always prepare amazing meals, who's homes are decorated amazingly etc. etc.

The point is that none of us are perfect and none of us have it all together and NONE of us should be jealous of or intimidated by one another.

If anything we should be working together and supporting one another and learning from the areas of strength that we each have. Some people may seem beautiful and perfect but you can't judge a book by its cover.

I don't want to share my dirty laundry but trust me house it full of it and not just in the form of clothes!

I put on makeup everyday because it makes me feel better about who I am- sometimes I wish I were confident enough to leave the house without it- but I'm not. I've got my insecurities too, and let me tell you I always look at the girls who look beautiful without make up on and wish I could be confident in my skin just like them.

It has never in my life been my intention to intimidate anyone. I know that people have viewed me as this way for a significant portion of my life and I'm sorry for that, but trust me when I say I really am nice. I'm not mean, or critical and I most certainly don't judge you, I've done enough of that to myself and continue to struggle with it every day of my life.  I became a dance teacher because I love dance but also because I wanted young women to know that they could do something they loved and still feel amazing about who they are. I wanted to create wonderful dancers who are also confident human beings who love themselves and don't always wish to be something more.

Let spread the word and learn to accept who we are: our height, our weight, our hair color, our cars, our house size, the number of kids we have, the meals we cook, the dirty floors and piles of laundry, the makeup we wear or don't wear, the shoes we own or would never dream or wearing.

We're all different and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact there's everything right about it! I'm not saying we're all going to be best friends, but we can love each other for who we are and not feel like we can't go out to certain events/places because we're scared of what others might think of us. Let's learn to love who we are and be confident about that woman...because that woman is YOU!

Jordan

Marshal's 2nd Birthday! It's Been A Long Time Coming

Well sadly I fell off the face of the blogging planet. I've been swamped with work for our business and never have time to blog anymore. Anyway I'm back at it and hopefully I can maintain some sort of consistency throughout the summer months. A lot has happened but I can't seem to remember all the good stuff so right now I'll tell you about a super important event- Marshal's 2nd Birthday!

Marshal turned 2 on May 25! I seriously cannot believe that my baby is 2- where has all the time gone? I went as all out for his party as I could muster with also having a wee 7.5 month old to take care of. I find joy in planning, decorating and putting together something fun. I definitely could have organized things a little better with the way some things turned out (ie. the birthday cake- looked pretty icing was a huge disaster and tasted awful!) but all in all I think the party turned out pretty well. I am fortunate to have some super talented friends one of whom (Alex) snapped a few shots for me at the party while I was busy trying to be a good hostess.

So the theme of the birthday party was Rainbows! Really I just wanted an excuse to make the fabulous rainbow cake I'm sure you've all seen via Martha Stewart or Pinerest. You can see the picture of my cake a little later in the post. 

Ok here are the classic tissue paper puff ball decorations. My favorite because they are both cute and incredibly cheap to make! 

Luckily the weather cooperated so we were able to have the party outdoors as planned!

Food table:

And here are all the party kidlets looking oh so cute!

Time for presents:

When we started singing Happy Birthday to Marshal he started screaming at the top of his lungs! It was absolutely hilarious!

Here we are cutting the cake:

And here it is, the rainbow cake!

Like I mentioned above  the cake didn't turn out completely as planned. I was totally pleased with the colorful cakes themselves, but I ran out of time to make icing and ended up buying a big tub of Wilton icing from Michael's craft store. Sadly this icing seemed to have gone bad but I didn't realize this until after I had put it all over the cake! It tasted horrible! And we ended up throwing over half of the cake in the garbage. Luckily Michael's was awesome and gave me a full refund for the icing when I went there to complain after the party, because it wasn't cheap!

Thank goodness for the cake pops which I decide to make at about 11pm the night before (I know I'm totally crazy!) But they tasted delicious to make up for the yucky icing on the cake!

Marshal enjoying his new pedal fire truck:

We also had a pinata, which the kids were a little young to understand. But I think they still had fun:

Marshal searching through the treats with Grandpa:

 And here are just a few amazing pictures I had to share! 

Marshal was pushing Natalie around in the fire truck but she got stuck!

 All in all it was a great party and I think the kids and grownups all had a ton of fun. 

I'm still getting used to the idea of having a 2 year old who has fully decided to enter the Terrible 2s! Got to love that little guy and all his will power!

Jordan