Getting Real About How I Feel

Well it's time to get real. I feel like I need a moment to share how I'm really feeling right now, not for sympathy, not for attention but just because I need to get it off my chest (I'm already feeling better as I start to write this!)

I'm sure this is the case for many of you fellow bloggers out there, but I think that we often put up a front on our blogs (or maybe I'm the only one.) It might not be because we want people to think we're perfect (though that would be lovely) but that we just don't want anyone to see our dirt. It's ok I know you all have some dirt to sweep under the rug, so do I.

I prefer to post about the positive things in my life because I'd like to look back and remember the happy things rather than all the depressing moments. That and I'm also a little bit overly dramatic when I get upset and down in the dumps, let me tell you things turn very dramatic very quickly, but for the moment that I am there that drama seems a total reality and it isn't until I start to calm down a little bit that I realize I am really over exaggerating. Ok run on sentence. The point is I don't like posting when I feel down because I know an hour later I'll feel ok.

And that brings me to now. I just really need to write about how incredibly done I am. I have definitely been on an emotional roller coaster ride with this pregnancy and let me tell you the end has been by far the worst. I am the most easily depressed, irritated, annoyed, and super sensitive person I have ever met. It's highly annoying. I can safely say that this pregnancy has really gotten the best of me and I am really at the end of my rope. I know I know, there's nothing I can do about it and I just have to wait it out but seriously can a girl cut a break?! I would give anything to not be pregnant anymore and I haven't even reached my due date yet!!!! And I most certainly will be overdue again!!!!! I'm constantly aching, I can barely walk (add to that the fact the I fell down the stairs yesterday and now have bruises on my hips/bottom,) the pressure on my pelvic floor is almost more than I can bear (and baby isn't even dropped fully!) I pretty much have two pairs on pants that fit me now- oh and they are both spandex, my shirts are barely covering the belly these days, my feet and hands are so fat and swollen, this heat is killing me slowly, I am exhausted every moment of the day from attempting to do things around the house and keep up with my insanely busy kids, also why is it that there seems to be more chores than ever to do? I have to go to weekly doctors appointments when they just listen to baby's heartbeat and tell you exactly how many weeks/days you are and that you're almost there! As if I'm not keeping track of how many days are left of this torture lady!!

And you know what is the most annoying- people are constantly asking me how I'm feeling and I have to smile and pretend like I feel great and I'm so happy being pregnant and 40 lbs heavier than I normally am! Because no one actually wants to hear how a 35+ week pregnant woman feels! What I'd really like to say it this:

• I feel like a fat cow who can barely move without shooting severe pain through my entire body
• I'm tired of having to pee every 20 minutes and feeling like I'm going to pee my pants all day long
• I feel like I have a giant tumour unbalancing my body
• I'm tired of waddling like a duck and people staring at me like I should be able to walk differently
• I feel like I'm about to die because I just can't take it anymore
• I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever and that this will never end
• I feel like this is the worst form of torture a person could possibly have to endure 

Ok I should stop now before you all think I'm a horrible person. I know I should be grateful I can take part in the miracle of life, and really I am I'm just DONE with pregnancy!

Ok one last thing before I sign outta here, something that is also completely beyond me but leaves me feeling incredibly depressed-  my body's inability to go into labour. Having been induced with both my previous pregnancies I feel pretty certain that I will yet again be undergoing another induction. Argh it's just so frustrating, I wish the doctor would just give me a date already because I'm ready to know when this will all be over. I'm so jealous of all you women out there who can go into labour naturally, and seriously prying that maybe this time it will happen on it's own. A girl can dream right.

Ok now that you all know how grumpy I am right now, I'm off. Let me tell you I feel a whole heck of a lot better now!

Jordan

Summer Fun!

Well I certainly haven't been doing very well with posts lately but alas life gets busy. In any case we've finally had some summer weather here is Calgary and we've had the chance to get up to some fun adventures, here are a few things we've done so far this summer.

1. June 2 we got to celebrate Dan's 29th birthday. I went low key with being so tired from this pregnancy so I bought a cake instead of making one. We had our friends the Glenn's over for dinner and had a grand old time.

The birthday boy with 29 candles to blow out. The kids were more than happy to help in this endeavour!

2. Dan and I got to go away for a mini vacation without our kids which I already wrote a lengthy post about here!

3. I had a beautiful baby showered hosted by my friend Rachel, and had a visit with my high school bestie which I posted about here.

4. This summer we got passes to Calaway park and have already enjoyed them twice within the same week. I am really glad that we got them because they were so cheap and it is a great way to entertain the kids for a day! Plus there are tons of rides that Marshal can go on, not as many for Cohen because he is so tiny, but enough that they both seem to have a great time when we are there. The first time we went (June 27) I brought along Rael to help me out with my kids and also met up with my friend Alex and her little girls and Arianne. We had a great day and the kids had a ton of fun. There were also next to no line ups for any of the rides and the park wasn't overly busy. Win win in my books! We went back that same week on Saturday, Dan and I took the boys and we had a great time as a family.

Enjoying a ride with Natalie.

Cotton candy is delicious!

The boys riding the little tug boats.

Marshal flying a plane.

Me an Coco on the old fashioned cars.

Cohen jealously watching Marshal on a ride he was too small for. 

5. On Canada Day we attempted to go swimming only to arrive to a pool that was full to capacity and would not let anyone else in (it was the hottest day of the year so far with temperatures that felt like 40 degrees.) We then drove to another pool only to find it closed because of the flooding in Calgary (which I have yet to post about,) our last resort was the splash park which was thankfully open but busy like nobody's business. The boys had lots of fun though playing and splashing in the water and it was nice to beat the heat a little bit. 

6. The day after Canada Day we went for a late night cruise down to a new frozen yogurt place called Tutti Frutti, because it was so hot in the upstairs of our house that we cold not even breathe up there. There was no way any of us could go to sleep so we took our chances getting the boys to fall asleep in the van. Luckily Cohen did fall asleep on the way home but no such luck with Marshal he was still wide eyed when we got home around 11pm. Luckily he fell asleep pretty quickly, lying on the window bench in the living room in front of an open breezy window. I ended up sleeping with him in the basement because my pregnant body could not stand the heat upstairs!

7. On July 7 we went for a lovely afternoon adventure with two other families. We drove up to a park called Big Hill Springs where we had a picnic and went on a short hike. The kids had a ton of fun running around together and playing by the water. Marshal decided to have an epic poo his pants moment that was truly disgusting! Then we enjoyed a lovely impromptu potluck picnic dinner and a nice "easy" walk. The hike really wasn't that hard but being that I was closing in on 38 weeks when I did it, it felt pretty epic. The boys had a ton of being out in nature hiking and playing, seriously they are their father's children in every sense of the word.

Marshal exploring (pre pooped pants incident)

Cohen exploring.

Getting ready for our hiking adventure.

Some of the pretty springs/falls.

Up we go.

Dan helping Marshal along.

This was a pretty big hill, but nothing deters Marshal on his bike!

Cohen decided to do a lot of the walking on his own. 

He did surprisingly well, he thinks he's a bog boy now!

Some of the crew, we were 8 kids and 6 adults!

More crew.

Just in case you didn't think I was really there!

I was!

After the hike, two cute little boys. 

I just love these two munchkins!

8. Stampede! It wouldn't be a Calgary summer without a visit to the stampede. This year we went on kids day (as usual, because I'm too cheap to pay for admission on any other day) and brought along my Mom, Aeron, her baby Kendra and Rael. I'm super glad for all the extra help I had because there is no way I could have managed on my own! It was way too hot, way too busy and I was way too pregnant. I'm pretty sure my feet and ankles were twice their normal size by the end ofthe day for all the swelling! Anyway I am really glad that I brought the boys (because I was considering not going this year) because I think they had a ton of fun.

Cohen was pretty mellow in the morning, likely because we woke him extra early to get to Stampede during the free hours. 

Riding a baby motorcycle, note Marshal in the background just whizzing by!

Cutie pie face. 

Such a poser he is :)

Well that's that for now. Of course we've had other fun days spent out in the sun, playing with friends, playing at the park, going for bikes rides and walks staying up late and enjoying the summer weather that we've had. I'm certain we will continue to have a wonderful summer and more adventures to post of soon.

What have you been up to with your kids this summer?

Jordan

Pregnancy Diary: 39 Weeks!

How Far Along: 39 weeks

Weight Gain: 39 lbs.

Size of Baby: Watermelon

Food Cravings: French fries, fruit and lots of it! Smoothies and sweets.  

Food Aversions: None. 

Baby Movement: Night time dancing is still going on over here. This little lady sure knows how to move, now if only she would decide to move on outtta here!

Overall Mood/Feeling: READY! I may not actually be ready for life with three kids ages 3 and under, but I am most certainly ready to be done with pregnancy! After spending approximately 28 months being pregnant during the past 4 years I can safely say that my body needs a break! Pregnancy is not for the weak let me tell you. It is a long battle with all sorts of ailments which I am longing to be free from any day now. Seriously little baby I'd actually like to meet you and so would the rest of your family, so come on down to Earth already!

Symptoms: Heartburn! Like nobody's business. It's out of control and so horribly uncomfortable. I never knew what heartburn felt like before having kids and all I can say now is, I wish I was still in the dark on it. Luckily for me heartburn is not a full length pregnancy symptom, and by that I mean it really only hits me for the last couple months, getting the worst the closer to the end I am. Tums have really become my best friend lately (why I never took them before this pregnancy is beyond me!)  it doesn't seem to matter when or what I eat I have heartburn all the same. 

Bloating. I have really said hello to swollen hands and feet these past few weeks especially the days that it has been super hot. My wedding rings no longer fit and shoes are becoming increasing more uncomfortable to wear, thanks heavens for flip flops. My weight jumped 4 pounds one weekend but I feel confident that it was largely due to water retention!

Strange bursts of energy! I guess perhaps it is the nesting instinct kicking in but despite being tired a lot of the time I have actually noticed that in the past week or so I have had several strange bursts of energy in which I feel motivated to do things like weed my garden, attempt to organize my basement, rearrange furniture in the baby's room, pack away the clothes that the boys have outgrown, wash all the baby stuff and organize her dresser and then of course try to keep up with the less fun chores that await me at the end of every day. 

My Thoughts: As I said I'm fully ready for pregnancy to be over, however I am a little anxious for life with 3 kids. I'm grateful that I'll have some support from family and friends, but it is still a bit intimidating. I know that somehow it will all magically work out, but I'm certain there will be many days of full of trials, tears and exhaustion ahead. Sigh. I guess that's what you get with motherhood especially when you have kids so close in age. On the brighter side I am really looking forward to meeting my baby girl and finally getting to say her name out loud to everyone around me! I can't wait to see what she looks like and find out her temperament, personality etc. I know that Marshal is just dying to meet her too as he keeps telling her to come out, and I can't wait to see both of my little boys with their new baby sister. It will also be fun to see Dan adjust to having a daughter. I can say that he is happy to be having another baby but I don't know if he is thrilled it's a girl, he seems a bit reserved about the whole thing! He is definitely a boy daddy but I know that once he meets his little princess she will become just that to him, a princess. Truthfully I think he's a bit scared of having a daughter, but don't tell him I said that! In any case I know that we are all ready to meet little miss N and are anxiously awaiting her arrival. Maybe I'll get lucky and have her before next Tuesday, or maybe I'll still be pregnant...I guess all I can do is wait and see. 

Jordan

A Little Slice of Paradise

About four weeks ago Dan and I had the opportunity to take a little vacation sans enfants! I cannot express just how lovely it was to get away without our little ones, especially before the impending arrival of Baby 3.

We have NEVER gone on an overnight trip since having Marshal over 3 years ago and it was definitely a much needed break from the kids and a chance to remember that we exist as a couple without noisy, rambunctious, infinitely busy bodied terrors children.

For our vacation we went to a little slice of Heaven on BC's Sunshine Coast, a town called Sechelt (pronounced like seashell with a "t.")

Saturday June 9 after my busy recital filled morning, I headed home to finish up the packing and get ready for our flight that evening. Packing for me and Dan was way easier than for us and the kids, so aside from my endless debate over what outfits I should bring...I was done pretty quickly. My parents generously agreed to spend the weekend at our house and babysit our kiddies for us. We had tried to explain to Marshal that we were going away for a few days and that Grandma and Grandpa would be sleeping over, and I think he kind of understood, no luck with Cohen though. After G-ma and G-pa arrived we said our goodbyes and luckily there were no real tears when we left (not until bedtime that night I am told.)

And just like that we were off to the airport excited to start our weekend vacay to BC!

We arrived plenty early as I mistakenly thought our boarding time was our flight time. We obviously had a few minutes to spare so we enjoyed the quietest and most peaceful dinner of our lifetime in the airport food court. After a bit of waddling wandering around we finally made it to our waiting area to await boarding.

The flight to Vancouver is the shortest flight I have ever been on. Seriously by the time we were up in the air and offered drinks and pretzels the pilot was announcing our descent! So much nicer than driving for 12 hours! Cause we've done that before! In any case I didn't even get to watch a whole movie, I got to watch about half, the flight was so quick and painless, relaxing even!

When we arrived in Vancouver I waited for our luggage while Dan went to get our rental car. I ended up walking over to meet him (don't worry I had a trusty cart for our bags) and got to hear the story of our vehicle upgrade as we walked through the parkade to our car. Dan had made a reservation and when he went to get the car the guy kept trying to upgrade him to a convertible for the weekend. Dan refused because we didn't want to pay the extra money and then in the end the guy said, "Well it's your lucky weekend, I'll give you the convertible for the same price as the economy car."  BONUS. So glad Dan didn't give in to the pressure for the upgrade because they clearly had no other car to offer us, but as we had a reservation they had to give us something. So we scored ourselves a practically brand new red Mustang convertible to drive around for the weekend! Oh yea baby! Weekend was off to a great start!

We had arranged to spend the night at Dan's Aunt and Uncle's house in New Westminster so we drove over there and got to visit for a little bit before calling it a night.

We woke bright and early so that we could catch the early ferry over to the Sunshine Coast. For those of you who don't know, the Sunshine Coast in technically attached to the mainland but the land gets very broken up and there are no roads that go all the way up and around, so the only way to get there (and the quickest way even if there were roads) is by ferry. We wanted to attend church in Sechelt so that we could experience what the branch of our church is like there.

We had a yummy breakfast on the ferry and found ourselves at the Langdon ferry terminal in no time. The drive to Sechelt was about 15 minutes from the ferry and it was a beautiful drive. It was amazing when we got that first glimpse of the ocean. Everything there is so beautiful, so much lush greenery and the ocean to top it off. When we got into Sechelt we had a bit of time to spare before church started so we drove round the town a bit and checked things out. For a small town (8500 people) it is actually quite developed and lively there. Some of the bigger name business there include Shoppers Drug Mart, London Drugs, Extra Foods, Canadian Tire, Home Hardware, Marks Work Warehouse, The Source and IGA, plus food places like Tim Hortons, A&W, Starbucks, Subway etc. There is also a whole plethora of smaller independant business like bike shops, womens fashions, shoe stores, bookstores, toy stores, antique shops, paint stores, craft shops, sewing shops and much much more.

We took sometime to stop by a little park and take a few pictures by the ocean before heading to church.

At church we were warmly greeted by the Branch President and other church members of which there were about 10. It also happened to be a special branch conference that weekend so there were about 7 leaders visiting from the mainland, plus us so the total number of people there was 19. This was definitely a new and unique experience for me as I grew up in a fair sized ward (congregation) and have always attended church where there are 80+ people in a ward. However despite the branch being very small and of a much older generation (there was one young mom with a 8 month of baby) it was pretty neat. Everyone was so friendly and kind and genuinely interested in why we were there, what we did, who we were etc. You can only imagine their excitement when we told them that we were considering moving there! (more on that later)

After church there was a delicious and super healthy (one of the branch counselors and his wife own a health food store) lunch served, and we were then invited to go spend a few hours with the Branch pres. and his wife. That was pretty nice of them. They were really awesome people and drove us around town showing us all the good neighbourhoods and the less good ones, the areas they recommended living in, good schools etc. We learned a lot from them about the weather (no it doesn't rain all the time there!) the area, life and work in Sechelt. It was a great afternoon and very informative.

After a couple hours we headed to our B&B to check in. It was our first experience with a B&B and it was super lovely.

Kitchenette.

Bed and seating area.

Another angle of the room. 

Some of the gardens at the B&B.

Pretty flowers.

More pretty flowers.

Prego me at 33 weeks 5 days.

Lovely little spot.

After unpacking our stuff Dan and I got ready to attend a local dance performance. I guess this is the point where I should explain that the main purpose of our trip was to look into a dance school in Sechelt that was up for sale. We booked this trip specifically so that we could attend the year end recital, check out our church, check out Sechelt and consider if we would actually like to live there.

The dance performance was great. Overall I was quite impressed with the school and the presentation that was put forth. The school is older and well established and you could tell it was very well loved by the children and families. It reminded me in many ways of the studio that I grew up attending. A great vibe between the students, love and respect for their teachers, a real showmanship being taught to the students, as well as a true love for dance. In some ways it was a bit old fashioned but to me that was refreshing given all the junk that is seen in dance these days.

In any case we were very happy with the show and excited about the next days endeavours to see the actual studio space and meet with the owner. I won't go into all the details about our meetings but they went well, we were happy with some things and unhappy with others. We weren't there to put an actual offer on the school we just wanted to see it and get a first hand impression before deciding if we wanted to proceed further.

So a little more about our trip.

We absolutely fell in love with Sechelt while we were there. It's hard to explain and even as I sit here, nearly 4 weeks after having been there, I can't quite remember the exact magic I felt there, but I definitely felt something special while I was there. The best way I can think to describe it is to say that I felt calm, peaceful and simply at ease. And no it wasn't just because I was kid free! Though I'm sure a bit of it may have been. It was just such a warm and welcoming community I felt so at peace there. I definitely think the presence of the ocean may have had something to do with it.

In any case we didn't actually do a lot while we were there. We just enjoyed the time we had together and the beautiful weather and scenery. We drove around in our convertible soaking up the sunshine walked along the pier, had gelato, took drives through different areas in and around Sechelt, enjoyed delicious food, went out for dinner, took pictures, sat and enjoyed the beauty of nature and talked. It is absolutely stunning there and none of the photos we took do it justice. But here are a few.

Breakfast at the B&B Day 1.

Dan enjoying our weekend ride.

At the tourist information center. 

Beautiful view of the inlet at the pub where we had lunch.

Such amazing skies!

Loved looking at all the boats. 

Sea plane getting ready for take off. 

Can't get over how blue it is!

Been overtaken with these ginormous gunnera.

Vanna White moment.

Contemplating by the ocean.

Oh yeah and this is pretty much someone's back yard, jealous!

So beautiful. 

We had a lovely trip and were definitely sad to leave it all behind. But alas all good things must come to an end, and I have to admit I did really miss my kids and was eager to get home to them and see how they had managed without us! Though surprisingly I was able to enjoy the time away from them a lot more than I thought I would be able to! It was a nice break. 

As a significant part of this trip was for us to determine if we would want to live here we spent some time checking out things like the community rec. centre, library, visitors centre and talking to as many people as we could about the area. I will say that we were very happy with all of the information we uncovered there and as I already said really fell in love with Sechelt. On top of it being a number one destination for all things outdoors, mountain biking, hiking, boating, rafting etc. (aka. Dan's paradise) it is also a super artistic community with so much to offer in the way of visual arts, language arts, dance, music and theatre (aka. my paradise). It was definitely a win win for us in terms of locations we can see ourselves being super happy in. Also the fact that you're only really an hour from the most amazing city in the country (in my opinion) Vancouver doesn't hurt either!

While it seems like I should be able to write more about this trip I just don't really have words, and this post is getting ridiculously long so I'm going to make this the end. If you ever have a chance to visit Sechelt I would highly recommend making the trip, I highly doubt you'll regret it. 

Jordan