Let me start by saying that I have zero intention of offending, hurting or criticizing anyone with this post topic, it's simply an issue I've been thinking about and would love to hear other women's feelings on.
The topic I'd like to discuss today is children and families. The other night Dan came home from work and told me the client he had been working for that day was the father of 13. He is a much older man (in his 80s) so all of his children are adults now, but I couldn't help but feel amazed that this man had 13 children! In our society families of 3 children get labelled as large, and generally people are both shocked and amazed if you have more than 3 children.
However it was not so very long ago that the family was much larger. It wasn't out of the ordinary to have 5 or more children in a family. Now, I realize that our social culture has changed quite dramatically over the past century. I'm no sociology or anthropology expert but of the many changes, we have seen the role of the woman change extensively, contraceptives have become readily available and the rate of marriage has steadily declined. I'm aware that all of these things have serious effects on the number of children that families choose to have. And yet I wonder why exactly they have had such a significant impact?
Why exactly are women choosing to have such dramatically fewer children?
Again I just want to reiterate that I have zero intention of offending anyone. I am well aware that we all have the freedom to choose how we live our lives, and we all have our own issues/life factors that come into play when we make the truly significant decisions regarding our families. As a woman in today's society I truly feel blessed with how much is available to me. I went to to university, have worked and continue to work (part time) at a job that I love, while also getting married and becoming a mother. I know that I have been fortunate to have these things in my life. I know that there are many other women in a similar position to my own and many in other very different ones.
Bringing this back around to my real question about why the number of children per family has decreased so significantly. I personally feel that we live in a world that facilitates the role of the mother. For example, we have grocery stores- most of us don't have to grow or harvest our own food, raise our own cattle and churn our own butter, we make a weekly trip to a store and purchase all the items we need for the week. We have cars making it easy and time efficient for us to get around. We have disposable diapers (I know many choose to use cloth) but seriously even the cloth diapers we have today seem way easier than those of the past. We live in homes that many of us feel are too small, but lets face it there is nothing wrong with kids sharing a bedroom! We have baby food on the stores of our grocery shelves and if your really feel better about making your own I'm certain you have a blender or food processor to do so! So all in all (in my humble opinion) we are pretty lucky to be mothers today.
Now trust me even though we have so much it is still hard to be a mother and I am in no way diminishing what mothers do and the sacrifices we make. I know just how hectic it can be to get to the grocery store and load up the cart when you have a ticking time bomb in the shape of a toddler helping you to push your cart! I'm just trying to point out the benefits we have.
So with all of this and all the things we have that do indeed make our mom jobs easier- why is it that we now have an average of 2.9 people per family and more couples without children than couples with children? See 2012 census details.
I am really very curious as to why we are having less children. Is it that we have less time, don't have the patience of our fore-mothers, have other things to pursue, feel that it is more important to be able to afford to take our children to Disneyworld and other exotic locations every year, simply don't want more kids, are physically unable to have more children, or just want to be able to enjoy our own life without the added stress of sleepless nights and dirty diapers?
For whatever your reason may be I get that it's a personal one and am not asking you to delve into your personal pockets for me. But if you do have an idea or opinion about this topic that you're willing to share I'd love to hear what you have to say.
I'm not sure how many kids you have or are planning to have but doesn't 13 just seem extraordinary! I don't think many of us will make it that far but maybe over time we will see an increase in the size of families again. Who knows! For what it's worth even though kids are a TON of work they are also a TON of joy!
Jordan
I think a major factor is the mentality that "20 is the new 30" and prolonged adolescence (which goes hand in hand with the first). People may think 20 is the new 30, but when it comes to getting pregnant, your body does not agree. I don't think people necessarily always choose to not have children before 30 (I'm thinking of all my non-LDS friends) as a matter of principle. I think a lot of people just have a long checklist of to-dos before they will have children. And then don't realize that by the time they get to wanting to have children, it may be difficult/impossible. But really I think the greatest reason that people don't have more children is money. My motto is that a little poverty never hurt a kid (excessive poverty is a different story...), especially when it's really just about money. {again, I should say that I personally believe that true poverty encompasses MUCH more than $ and has more to do with lack of opportunity}. In fact, I think it's essential for children to learn to live without. Without every thing that they want. Without broken things being immediately replaced. Etc - you get my point. I just think a lot of people are really scared that they can't afford to have more children. Anyway, I'm sure I've already offended every potential reader, so I'll end here. {and note that I am scared to even be having our second lol}
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