Kindred Spirits

I'm sure that many of you are familiar with Anne of Green Gables. As a young girl I was an avid reader and certainly spent a summer or two with my nose pressed depp in the pages of this beloved Canadian children's series. I truly loved Anne and all of her dramatic ways, and in particular I always admired that special friendship that Anne and Diana Barry shared.

I think it's rare to find a friend who will last a lifetime. A friend who will always be there no matter what. A friend who understands even when all is silent. Someone who you can simply be yourself with, no airs, no pretenses.

I have been blessed to find such a friend within my short life.

14 years ago on the first day of second semester in Grade 9, I sat in Mr. Dundas's English class and moved a backpack out of the way for a girl who was on crutches. I didn't know it at the time but that girl would become a friend like none other. She would become my kindred spirit. 

I wish I could remember more clearly how our friendship began, developed and grew. But I now have, as evidence of its greatness, a friendship that has lasted for exactly half of my life.

In the 14 years that I have been friends with Kathy we've had some ups and downs. We've also lived very far apart for longer than we lived near one another. Yet still we are connected in a way that I cannot really explain to another except to say that we are kindred spirits.

I'm not sure exactly what it is that binds us so closely. I mean when we were in high school we were opposite in so many ways. She was (still is) a blonde while I'm a brunette. She loved dogs and I was terrified of them. She was on the swim team, I didn't (still don't) know how to swim. I was great at French, she not so much. I was a bit of a shy, quiet, nerdy nerd while she was more popular and outgoing. She had her share of boyfriends, I only looked from afar. She had her license and a car, I didn't even take my drivers test until I was 18! Clearly we were from two different ends of the spectrum, but that backpack brought us together and something made us stick together.

My friendship with Kathy has gone through so many different stages and variations over the years. We were inseparable in high school, constantly chattering about boys and fashion. Talking on the phone and planning what we would wear to school based on the weather forecast for the week. We would watch movies and have sleepovers. We were mallrats. We spent hours doing our hair and makeup and picking out just the right outfit to go to dances and church functions. We did everything together.

Then I moved away to university and our friendship took a back seat. We still talked and saw each other when I was home. But I'll be honest and say that our friendship wasn't quite what it used to be. Still, through the 4 years that I was away even though we didn't see each other often when we did get together we could always pick up exactly where we left off. It was never hard, there was no effort required and it didn't seem to matter that we hadn't talked in months, it still felt as though we had seen each other just yesterday.

After university I got married and of course Kathy was my maid of honour. There was no other woman in my life that meant to me what she did. She and I had been through thick and thin and the 4 years of high school and 4 years of university had solidified our friendship for good.

Marriage was a whole new adventure for me which also took me even further away to the other side of the country. Again our friendship took a bit of a back seat and we were considerably less involved in one anothers lives than we had been previously but we still always had that special connection.

Now here we are 6 years later and in the past 6 years I've seen her only a handful of times. Fortunately I just had the chance to spend the weekend with Kathy. She flew out here to visit me and the boys and I couldn't have asked for a better weekend to spend with my best friend. I can only hope and pray that we continue to share this special friendship in the many years that lay ahead. I am so thankful to have such an incredible friend. We truly are kindred spirits.

Jordan

A Slice of My Insanity!

A little bit about the insanity that has become my life. Here's what a typical Wednesday looks like lately:

7:00am- Woken up by Marshal coming in my room to snuggle in bed.
8:00- Beaten up by Marshal's tossing, turning and kicking
8:15- Begrudgingly roll out of bed to act like a responsible mother...
8:30- Cohen wakes up (if he hasn't already)
8:30- Feed the little monsters breakfast which includes a ridiculous amount of yogurt, cereal and scrambled eggs (what the heck am I going to do when they're teenage boys?)
9:00-Wash Marshal off (a hose down would work nicely)
9:05- Wash Cohen off (more hosing required)
9:10- Sweep the floors
9:12- "Mop" the floors (thank goodness for my Rubbermaid easy spray "mop" which I use about 20 times a day!)
9:15- Change the nighttime diapers
9:20- Wrestle the children while attempting to clothe them for the day. This usually includes showing Marshal every shirt and pair of pants in his closet while he rejects each and every one of them and then simply forcing him to put something on while I threaten to leave the house without him to run errands (I know that's horrible right! Sometimes I just lose my patience!)
9:30- Plop the kids in front of The Cat in The Hat while I take a shower (again more evidence of being a bad mother but how else am I supposed to keep them in one room while I shower?)
9:45- Do my hair and makeup so I feel somewhat like a human being
10:00- Wash the dishes, maybe clean the counters (if I'm lucky)
10:15- Attempt to turn off the tv while Marshal screams and tells me not too.
10:30- Get out the door to go for a walk
11:30- Return to the house with yet another unwilling Marshal because he would rather stay and watch the diggers all day (do you see a pattern here- this kid is seriously giving me a run for my money!)
11:45- Try to throw together some sort of a lunch
12:00- Feed the kids (potentially, and fingers crossed Cohen is napping as a result of the walk)
12:30- Clean Marshal off
12:35- Sweep the kitchen and mop the floors again
12:40- Try to do some emails (personal, work, church and business) Marshal usually plays in the playroom while I work.
1:00- Try to think about what I need to teach at dance tonight. Marshal still playing in the playroom. Cohen wakes up.
1:30- Do choreography for classes (if necessary) Marshal and Cohen play, Marshal and Cohen fight!
2:00- Try to be a good mother and interact with my children.
2:30- Realize I need to do some laundry and throw in a  load.
2:45- Put together some sort of a dinner (casserole or if I was smart I already did a crockpot in the am)
3:00- Try to clean up some of the disaster that has befallen our entire house
3:30- Pack up my bag for work, get changed to go teach dance, hopefully Dan gets home now!
3:40- Play with kids a bit
3:55- Leave for work
4:10- Get to work
4:15- Teach ballet to a very enthusiastic bunch of 7 year olds!
5:15- Leave work
5:30- Get home eat dinner that Dan cooked (after I prepared)
6:00- Clean the kids off
6:10- Sweep and mop the floors yet again!
6:12- Wash the bath tub (fun fun)
6:15- Bathe the boys (thankfully this is Dan's job)
6:25- Wrestle them into their pjs
6:30- Dan puts Cohen to bed
6:35- Grandpa arrives to hang out with Marshal
6:50- We finally get out the door to head to the church
7:15- Arrive at church to teach the you their cultural celebration choreography
7:30-Work with the youth aka run around the church like a chicken with its head cut off making sure all youth know what they are doing as they prep for a big celebration at the end of October.
8:30- Finish teaching the youth
8:45- Leave the church and go home
9:00- Get home and finally sit down on the couch, realize that I totally for got to switch the laundry earlier!
9:01- Switch the laundry
9:02 Turn on the tube and watch the X Factor!
11:00- Get ready for bed
11:15- Go to bed
(oh wait a second I completely forgot about dirty diapers in there, plus attempted potty time too!)

SLEEP!

Wake up ...and Repeat!

The Changing Family

Well I'm attempting to return from my blogging hiatus. I'd love for you to believe that I'm truly coming back to the world of regular blogging, but I really can't make any promises right now seen as my life has taken a turn for the busier! I'll get into the details about all the exciting new things I'm up to in my next post, but for right now I've got something that's been on my mind.

Let me start by saying that I have zero intention of offending, hurting or criticizing anyone with this post topic, it's simply an issue I've been thinking about and would love to hear other women's feelings on.

The topic I'd like to discuss today is children and families. The other night Dan came home from work and told me the client he had been working for that day was the father of 13. He is a much older man (in his 80s) so all of his children are adults now, but I couldn't help but feel amazed that this man had 13 children! In our society families of 3 children get labelled as large, and generally people are both shocked and amazed if you have more than 3 children.

However it was not so very long ago that the family was much larger. It wasn't out of the ordinary to have 5 or more children in a family. Now, I realize that our social culture has changed quite dramatically over the past century. I'm no sociology or anthropology expert but of the many changes, we have seen the role of the woman change extensively, contraceptives have become readily available and the rate of marriage has steadily declined. I'm aware that all of these things have serious effects on the number of children that families choose to have. And yet I wonder why exactly they have had such a significant impact?

Why exactly are women choosing to have such dramatically fewer children?

Again I just want to reiterate that I have zero intention of offending anyone. I am well aware that we all have the freedom to choose how we live our lives, and we all have our own issues/life factors that come into play when we make the truly significant decisions regarding our families. As a woman in today's society I truly feel blessed with how much is available to me. I went to to university, have worked and continue to work (part time) at a job that I love, while also getting married and becoming a mother. I know that I have been fortunate to have these things in my life. I know that there are many other women in a similar position to my own and many in other very different ones.

Bringing this back around to my real question about why the number of children per family has decreased so significantly. I personally feel that we live in a world that facilitates the role of the mother. For example, we have grocery stores- most of us don't have to grow or harvest our own food, raise our own cattle and churn our own butter, we make a weekly trip to a store and purchase all the items we need for the week. We have cars making it easy and time efficient for us to get around. We have disposable diapers (I know many choose to use cloth) but seriously even the cloth diapers we have today seem way easier than those of the past. We live in homes that many of us feel are too small, but lets face it there is nothing wrong with kids sharing a bedroom! We have baby food on the stores of our grocery shelves and if your really feel better about making your own I'm certain you have a blender or food processor to do so! So all in all (in my humble opinion) we are pretty lucky to be mothers today.

Now trust me even though we have so much it is still hard to be a mother and I am in no way diminishing what mothers do and the sacrifices we make. I know just how hectic it can be to get to the grocery store and load up the cart when you have a ticking time bomb in the shape of a toddler helping you to push your cart! I'm just trying to point out the benefits we have.

So with all of this and all the things we have that do indeed make our mom jobs easier- why is it that we now have an average of 2.9 people per family and more couples without children than couples with children? See 2012 census details.

I am really very curious as to why we are having less children. Is it that we have less time, don't have the patience of our fore-mothers, have other things to pursue, feel that it is more important to be able to afford to take our children to Disneyworld and other exotic locations every year, simply don't want more kids, are physically unable to have more children, or just want to be able to enjoy our own life without the added stress of sleepless nights and dirty diapers?

For whatever your reason may be I get that it's a personal one and am not asking you to delve into your personal pockets for me. But if you do have an idea or opinion about this topic that you're willing to share I'd love to hear what you have to say.

I'm not sure how many kids you have or are planning to have but doesn't 13 just seem extraordinary! I don't think many of us will make it that far but maybe over time we will see an increase in the size of families again. Who knows! For what it's worth even though kids are a TON of work they are also a TON of joy!

Jordan

On Being A Friend

Tonight I'm going to make a confession. 

I've always struggled at being a good friend.

For me the gift of friendship has never come easily. It's not that I don't like people or am too self centered to be bothered with the needs of others. Trust me I do care a lot about others well being. It's more that I feel awkward around other people. I know this may seem like an odd thing to admit to, but for as long as I can remember it has been really hard for me to make friends. I think I should get a little more specific here because most of you reading this are probably thinking to yourselves, I thought we were friends...? So to clarify, I do have many friends- people who I talk to, hang out with and get along with. What I don't have are many CLOSE friends.  

No just in case you're thinking, hey I thought we were pretty close friends! Trust me this is no fault of your own, its a fault of mine. You who are reading this right now may truly be terrific and for all I know you could be my best friend in the world, I just haven't quite figured out how to make you a great friend and let you in.

You see that's my problem. It's always been my problem. I keep a lot of doors shut with the people in my life. I'm not totally sure why but I've always been a very guarded person, being very careful and selective about the people that I become friends with and even more selective about the way I open up to those people in my life. It's as though I always keep up a fence to keep people just outside where I know I can keep myself and my secrets safe. Because of this I've never had many really close friends. I can honestly think of only two women who I have been best friends with, and sadly I don't talk to one of those women any more as we grew apart over time. The other I care about very deeply still but rarely talk to and never see since she still lives in my home town and I've moved out west! I'm sorry Miss Janice!

Since moving out west I've been blessed to meet many amazing women who I truly admire, respect and love to have as friends. But for one reason or another I keep up my boundaries and always keep these friends at a safe distance.

I truly wish that I could throw myself into friendships with the love and vigor that I see others do it with. I am always slightly intimidated by those who seem so charismatic and cheerful with those who surround them, while I struggle to open up and be close with those who I have know for years. I know it's something that I could work harder at, there is so much more I could do- for example I'm horrible at calling people! This is really something I should work on. I'm also bad at doing things with people. I have no problem organizing big events but I always shy away from one on one time with my friends. Obviously a huge reason why I can't get to know people better! 

All in all I'm not totally sure why I am sharing this with you other than that it's been on my mind a lot lately. I guess I want to say that I want to try harder to be a better friend. September always seems like the start of a new year for me (back to school means back to work for me) and so I want to make it a goal to try harder to be a better friend over these next few months! I really do want to have better friendships and closer friends who I can feel comfortable with knowing that I cherish them and they cherish me too. 

Have any of you ever felt the same way or struggled with making and keeping close friends?

Jordan

30 Day Pilates Challenge!

Once upon a time before marriage and babies I was pretty fit. Not in the sense of the word that comes to most people's minds but in a slightly different way. I wasn't a runner or a weight lifter you see, I was a dancer. When I was in peak condition I danced upwards of 15 hours a week. I also worked out on my own time, doing extra ab work outs and stretches, sometimes running the treadmill at the gym. I wasn't a fitness junkie, trust me I was not the super defined and completely thin chick with zero body fat. I just loved to be active. It was just part of who I was.

Then I got married and things changed because I wasn't studying dance in university any longer so I no longer had 8 plus dance classes to attend each week and well lets face it dance is expensive, so I couldn't afford that many classes either. My hubby and I joined the gym, I went to the odd drop in dance class, I taught dance a few nights week and also got myself involved in some productions so I still had a pretty active life. It wasn't what it had been but I was satisfied.

Then a few years later I got pregnant. I taught dance full time (5 days a week) while I was prego so that kept me feeling pretty good and relatively fit during pregnancy, but then after baby came things went down hill a little further.

However I can't complain completely because I did go back to teaching when baby M was just 4 months old. So even though I was now teaching only part time I still felt ok. I certainly was down to a 1 on a scale of 1-10 where my fitness used to be, but I wasn't completely hopeless. That part comes a bit later after baby 2.

I got pregnant again quite quickly after M was born and while I tried to maintain some fitness while pregnant- attending aerobics classes and teaching dance part time, I quickly became more and more tired and started to do things less and less. My formerly active lifestyle went kaput!

Now here I am with my second child almost a year old and I am sad to admit that I am just finally attempting to make a change in my now completely inactive life style! My body has truly turned into an enemy and I don't like it one little bit! I am constantly in pain, sore, stiff and tired! I know that all of these things stem from my serious lack of inactivity, but I have just been to lazy until NOW to do anything about it!

So my first goal is to do 30 days of Pilates. I'm starting small (with the basic 7 exercises) but I hope to increase the number of exercises I do each night to eventually get up to the full matwork series. And here's the best part Dan is doing it with me. We've both really been struggling with not being as fit as we used to so he has agreed to give Pilates a try with me. For any of you who are familiar with Pilates you'll know why this is a such a great challenge and why I'm SO excited about it. And well if you don't know anything about Pilates you should learn because its and amazing form of exercise that you can do right on your living room floor! All you need is you and a mat.

I'm totally excited to keep you up to date on how this goes and to feel my body transform (life, energy, flexibility) over the next month!

YAY PILATES!

Wish me luck. I'm getting my body back.

Jordan

A Visit From the East Side Grandparents!

As you may or may not know Dan and I are from Ontario, so we still have family back on the east side of Canada. Dan's parents took a drive across the country this summer to come and visit us for a week at the end of June. It was really fun to have them come and hang out with us and it was also really great for the kids to see their grandparents again. We didn't do anything too exciting while they were here (exciting can be challenging with 2 little monkeys!) but we did have some really fun adventures. Here are a some of  the things we got up to that week.

We took a drive to Nanton (that was interesting, Marshal screamed to come out of his car seat the entire 45 minute ride- why we are planning to drive to Vancouver in a week is beyond me!) to visit the train store there. Totally worth the screaming ride. Marshal absolutely LOVED the train store and outdoor train play world. It was truly amazing, I have never taken Marshal to a public place before and not had to chase him around like a crazy chicken with it's head cut off. Seriously I'm normally that insane looking mom who is running all over the place. It was absolute heaven to sit down and chat and just watch him play. Totally a kids paradise.

Train heaven!

Happy as can be.

They had train tables like these all over the place, even next to the area where we ate lunch, amazing!

Totally loving it.

The model train display, Marshal was also pretty fascinated with this.

Cute little Cohen.

The guys worked on the truck one afternoon at home.

Dan and his Dad- favorite thing to do together!

Cohen was taking notes.

Dan's parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary while they were here so we all went out to dinner to celebrate! 

The whole gang!

The lovely grandparents and their two little grandsons. 

All in all we had a great visit with the Fullers and are really happy that they were able to make their way out here this summer. Marshal really enjoyed getting to know his grandparents better especially as he is now at a better age to actually recognize and remember them. We can't wait to see them again soon- hopefully this Christmas!

Jordan

May Long Weekend (I Know that was 2 Months Ago!)

Well I've been neglectful about blogging but we've been up to a lot of adventures lately! I won't take the time to go to in depth about everything because I am going to go WAY back but I want to write these memories down so that I don't forget everything!

May Long Weekend- I realize it's July but better late than never right? Ok so for the May long weekend we had Dan's sister and her family come out to stay with us for the weekend. They made the drive into Calgary from Creston, BC to visit us and some of their other friends. It was so great to have them visit! Even though they don't live that far (it's about a 6 hour drive) it's a difficult trip to make with young kids which we both have! So the last time we saw them was last August when I was still pregnant with Cohen. Anyway it was really fun for Marshal to play with his cousins Violet (3) and Desmond (1.5) he absolutely LOVED them and it was so cute to see them interact together. Sadly we didn't get up to much (their visit was short and the kids weren't super cooperative!) but we enjoyed the time we had to visit with Sarah and Jesse and their kiddies. Here are a few photos from the weekend visit.

Marshal and Violet hugging.

Reading his birthday card made by Violet.

Opening his birthday present.

Playdoh.

Hanging out in the backyard.

Our attempted bike adventure.

Our sweet ride.

The lovely crew.

Marshal and Desmond hanging out in the bike trailer.

Dan and Marshal.

Sarah and Violet.

The cute little cousins, plus Sarah!

Cohen and Violet.

We attempted to go on a bike hike on the holiday Monday but sadly for all our efforts the kids didn't think it was the greatest idea! After about 15 minutes we had to turn back as there were a lot of unhappy little riders. I guess we'll have to wait until the kids are a bit older to attempt something like this again. A|ll in all it was a great visit and I know Marshal can't wait to go visit his cousins at their house later this summer!

Jordan