Christmas Review

December was a whirlwind of activities for our family. I love the holiday season. There are so many wonderful things to look forward to around Christmas time: decorating, parties, spending time with family, hanging out with friends, listening to music, holiday concerts, wonderful food, giving gifts, receiving gifts, shopping, baking, wrapping Christmas gifts, watching Christmas movies...my list could go on and on! Christmas really is the most glorious time of the year!

Here's a list of some of the fun we got up to this holiday season:

1. Annual Girls Gift Exchange- For the past 5 years I have been holding a girls Christmas party in December. It is honestly one of my favourite things to look forward to at Christmas. I love having a night to get together with girlfriends, chat, indulge in some yummy food and receive a gift too! This year we had a favourite things party and it was fantastic! For those of you who don't know what this is google it and then have one, it won't disappoint! It was a spectacular evening and I went home with 5 amazing new gifts!

2. Annual Fuller Party- For the past 6 years we have been hosting our annual Christmas party! I LOVE to host a party. There is something about bringing people together, serving good food, listening to the chatter of multiple conversations and seeing people have a good time that makes me happy! I don't claim to be great at hosting events I just like it! I dream of the day when I have a much larger home and can hold much bigger and better parties than ones I currently do!

3. Gingerbread Party- This year I decided to have a cookie decorating party for the kids. Growing up my mom always had a gingerbread house decorating party for my sisters, our friends and I so I decide to adopt the tradition for my boys. Seen as the all kids are still quite young I opted for simple cookie decorating. I think the party was a huge success as the kids all seemed to have a ton of fun!

The kids having fun decorating their cookies!

Marshal just kept eating the icing, hence the red lips.

Cohen just kept eating the toppings!

Leah and one of her cookies. 

Adelade was really into decorating!

Thomas showing off his blue cookie.

Cohen and his little bear cookie!

4. Visits with Santa- The kids went to see Santa twice this year. The first visit we took was to the South Centre Mall Santa. I got the kids all dressed up for this and we ended up with this photo.

Not bad considering Cohen was terrified when we got up to see Santa! He freaked right out and had to sit on my lap, while I wore Santa's glove to make it look like Santa was holding him. A little closer to Christmas I decided to take the kids to have one more visit with Santa at a smaller mall where you can take your own photos for free. My parents and Aeron came along with Kendra (the boys cousin.) Cohen was still scared of Santa but I got a few cute photos of the three while Novah slept.

Marshal was pretty excited to see Santa again!

Marshal and Kendra.

Kendra was trying to eat Santa's bells.

Those bells were quite a hit. 

Cohen decided he wanted to show Santa his planes. 

This was as close as Cohen would get. 

Tried to get Cohen to look with me holding him but he still wouldn't have it!

5. Ward Christmas Party- The ward Christmas party was a lot of fun especially the kids Nativity pageant which was purely hysterical. It was a delicious dinner and a great evening with friends!

Marshal was hilarious!

Cophen had to run up and join the crew on stage!

The cute boys.

Dan, Novah and I.

6. Marshal's Preschool Christmas Concert- This was a huge disaster. I must admit I was a bit upset that Marshal decided not to participate in his concert and instead ran around being noisy and disruptive and gave me a hard time during the concert! I was frustrated but c'est la vie! Afterwards I was able to realize that it was probably just a bit much for him, after all he is only 3.5 and there were a lot of people there to watch. Still he was the only one out of all the kids who didn't perform. Oh well, I got many private concerts later at home when he decided to serenade me with all the songs they had performed! Pretty cute.

7. Live Nativity Pageant- Our church holds a wonderful live, outdoor nativity pageant free for the city every Christmas. We watched the weather and took the kids on the mildest night which happened to be December 23rd. We went early enough to catch the first show at 7:00pm and surprisingly it went really well. The boys loved it and Cohen kept talking about the baby Jesus and baby Novah, and pointed out the horse (aka donkey) as it walked past us. It was a fun night and something that I always look forward to at Christmas time.

My boys :)

8. Christmas Eve- The boys were really excited about Santa coming this year as they understood much better who Santa was and what he was going to bring for them! The kids received their traditional Christmas Eve gift of new pajamas before heading down stairs to leave out cookies and milk for Santa.

Excited about new pjs!

Cohen really getting into the opening of the present!

Santa jamas!

Try getting a 3.5 and 2 year old to look at the camera!

My sweet little monkeys. 

Cohen was very excited to leave cookies for Santa. 

Typical Marshal smile.

9. Christmas Day- Christmas day was wonderful. We spent the morning together as a family, just us and it was really nice. The kids were filled with joy when they came downstairs and saw all the gifts that Santa had brought! I'm sure it seemed extra exciting because there hadn't been a single gift under the tree all December (for obvious reasons) so we went from nothing under the tree to tons of stuff under the tree. I may or may not have gone a little wild with gifts this year, but several were homemade and with my early start to the shopping season I was able to get lots of great deals. Plus the kids got a lot of needed items, like new clothes and coats etc. They probably also got way too many toys so I'm going to work on cutting back for next year! Sigh I just like getting things for them. Here are a bunch of pictures from our Christmas morning.

So excited to see what is under the tree!

Stockings!

Smarties. 

Cohen very intent on opening his stocking.

Happy with the new Planes colouring book. 

Happy with his stickers.

Cohen loved ripping up the wrapping paper!

Marshal checking out his gift from Santa.

The boys really loved their Santa gifts!

Cohen is pretty stoked with his airport. 

Checking out all the buttons.

The gifts just kept coming. 

New coats for Spring, the boys could have cared less, they simply opened these and moved on to something else!

Novah checking out Marshals new car.

Rip that paper!

Cohen in his element. 

Every time he opened something he said, "Want more presents." What a greedy little kid! lol!

Novah enjoyed watching the boys. 

Cohen happy with his Finn McMissile boat.

Novh and her new clothes.

Dan piled it all on top of her!


Cute little Christmas baby!


So happy with her new toy!

We also decorated gingerbread houses made by Grandma on Christmas day afternoon.

Cohen was really into decorating, much more than Marshal!

Later in the day my folks came over and then we enjoyed a delicious Christmas feast. We had a great time with family and overall had a wonderful Christmas. I couldn't have asked for a better holiday season! We finished the day with a family photo! Christmas 2013 was wonderful!

Ringing in 2014

On new years eve we had the pleasure of attending a fabulous fondue party with lots of good friends, tons of food and a whole lot of fun! It was a wonderful low key evening and a great way to ring in 2014. I wish that I had some pictures from the festivities but I was too busy enjoying the company of friends to think about capturing pictures on my phone (this is something I'm hoping to do better in 2014- be IN the moment- so I guess I'm off to a good start!) We had meat, cheese and chocolate fondue as well as a great little, "bar" with yummy drinks made by Dan (he was pretty proud of his, "bartending," skills ;) We sat, ate, talked, laughed, did a puzzle (I know so cool) and generally just had a good time.

We stayed out later than we have in a long time (2am), and came home to find that all three of our kids had decided to ring in the new year too! They were actually wide awake when we got home at 2:30am, so that was fun. Grandpa said Cohen woke up crying and that led to Marshal waking and then Novah woke up fussing too. It was pretty sweet when we got home and the kids were happily playing and running around. Marshal asking for breakfast because he thought it was a new day! Luckily Novah went back to bed after a quick feeding and then we pulled the futon mattress into the living room so the boys could have a, "sleepover." I accidentally fell asleep with them and woke up around 6am crawling myself to my big comfy bed as I was feeling a little sore from the oh so supportive futon. Somehow we managed to sleep in until 10am, though this included Dan waking up sometime around 7am to deal with a crazy Marshal who ended up in a time out, breakfast given to the boys and Dan falling back asleep on the futon! 

After our slow morning we went out to enjoy the beautiful day and took the boys sledding. They had a blast! It was the perfect weather sunny, bright and mild. The best way to ring in the new year with the kiddies. Here are some pictures from our adventure.

The ready to go down the hill as soon as we arrived!

Cohen just being cute.

Getting ready for our snowy adventures.

That's one serious pout face.

Proof that Novah came along. She was just napping in her carseat.

Dan having a good ol' time.

Me and little CoCo.

The kidlets and I.

Smile :)

First photo together for 2014.

Cohen discovered he could eat snow. 

Best discovery ever. He wouldn't stop eating it!

Novah decide to wake up, hence why we had to go home. 

Me and my Marshal.

Pure bliss.

We had a great day! I am really excited about 2014 and can't wait to see what this year has in store for us.  Happy New Year to everyone!

Jordan

My "New" LIfe

Well it's been awhile since I posted but I'm back with some thoughts about the recent turn of events that my life has taken.

A couple months ago Dan and I really felt we were sitting in a rut. We were really pondering what to do with our lives and what direction we should follow. During the 7.5 years we've been together we have gone from one thing to another trying to find the right pathway but never really having great success or a clear idea of where we were going. Dan has had a particularly difficult time figuring out a career path for himself but I do credit his constant work ethic and willingness to do whatever necessary to provide for our family. More recently we became really focused on trying to find a more secure path that would give us a bit of security and stability for our future.

We have been running our own business for the past 2 years. But as any business owner will know this comes with a large set of challenges that are often difficult to overcome. After our two years of work we felt we had sort of come to a point where we either needed to really invest and try to grow the business or allow it to sort of fizzle. We haven't completely given up hope on it, but Dan has come to learn that painting is not the thing he dreams of doing for the rest of his life. Plus work always disappears around the winter and holiday season leaving us with little to no income which is difficult to accommodate now that we have 3 kids and I'm no longer working at all.

So he went job hunting and was blessed with an offer to start an apprenticeship as an electrician. He was recommended to the job by a good friend of his and all of a sudden off we go with a whole new schedule and career path to boot. I'm happy that he has found something he wants to commit to and that he has a full time job with benefits (my teeth are thankful that I finally went to the dentist!) Being an electrician is also something he wanted to do before, but it just didn't work out.

In any case my main purpose for writing tonight is about the new life that I'm living these days. As of tomorrow I will have successfully made it through 2 weeks of this new schedule and I'm very slowly starting to adapt to no longer having a husband. I seriously don't know how all you ladies out there do it. I must be one big baby or a totally dependent woman because I am really struggling. Here are some of the challenges I'm finding:

For one I really love my hubby and I am basically holding back tears every time I think about how little I get to see him now. Go ahead and laugh but I seriously miss him. Even though we had our moments of getting annoyed with each before I'm now feeling seriously alone every day and night. He's gone before I wake up and then gets home around 6-6:30 depending on traffic. Then he's so tired he wants to go to bed by 9:30-10. Take out an hour of getting the kids to bed and I'm seeing him for maybe 2 hours a night. Not to mention the nights he has young mens or if I have any meetings or evening activities then it's pretty well a right off. I cannot lie this is something I do not look forward to getting used to. I'm not happy about never seeing my husband again :(

Secondly as sad as I am about not seeing him, imagine those poor little kiddies. They love their daddy but now that they see him for 1 hour a day I don't know what is going to happen. They are already acting even more attached to me than normal and trust me this is not a good thing. I'm sad that they won't get to spend as much time with him or play with him the way that they used to. Basically his presence is disappearing right out of their little lives. It's a big adjustment and perhaps a contributing factor to Marshal's really bad behavior the past 2 weeks. Sigh. And Cry.

Thirdly I now get to do everything around the house. Ok, so I know I was lucky before to have a hubby who'd make dinner and clean up etc. I always did more of the house chores than he did but he definitely helped out in a huge way. That's not happening anymore. With him only being home for a few hours each night, he doesn't have time to help out with anything. He does do bath/bedtime with me and that is great since I have no patience left for the kids by the end of the very long day! but other than that I now get to do it all and trust me the house is getting worse by the minute. I'm pretty sure I will never have a clean or organized house again. It's disgusting and its driving me nuts!

Fourth I feel like I have to learn this parenting thing from a whole new perspective. I've go to figure out how to juggle all the chores and all the kids. I have to make enough time for the kids, manage my time wisely so I don't want to run away by the end of each day, make meals, teach the kids, discipline the kids, always be patient with them (fat chance) and keep them alive and happy. So far this has been a big struggle, I am alone with them for sooooo much longer than I used to be. I know this part has gone poorly so far. Each day I'm learning a bit more about what is necessary for my/their survival. Maybe after six months I will have figured something out, but who knows! All I can say is this also makes me want to cry, a lot!

So I guess the main point I'm trying to make over here is that while I'm happy for my husband and his new endeavor I am not happy for me. I feel bad for saying that out loud but it's true and I like to be honest. I honestly don't know how I am going to survive this, everyday I keep pretending like I'm ok with it and it's going to be all right but all I feel inside is terrified beyond measure, inadequate in every way possible and like bawling my eyes out. I hate to admit how weak I am but right now I feel very very small. I want to be able to support Dan is this because I know it is important for him and for our family but I just don't know how to do that right now. I barely know how to keep us all alive right now. I'm literally taking each day hour by hour and it's still killing me.

Ok, there I said it all out loud.

This new life that I have, it's going to teach me a lot. I'm hoping I can walk out of it with some serious strength and power. I'm hoping I can overcome the small feelings that I have. I'm hoping I can do it somehow. Don't know how, but somehow.

How do you do it? What advice do you have for me? I really need it!!!!

Jordan