To Find Out Or Not To Find Out

As you know I am pregnant and expecting our third child in July. We have found out the gender of both our babies in the prior two pregnancies and so naturally I just figured we'd do the same this time around. Our ultrasound has already been booked for February 28, crazy how fast that is coming up! Anyway after I called in and received the date and time I let Dan know when the ultrasound would be and he told me that he didn't want to find out the gender of the baby! I was like WHAT? But Dan was pretty serious about not finding out and told me he really wanted to have the experience of finding out at the moment of birth when they present your baby and say, "It's a ____!"

I had never really thought about that before. With all of today's technology and my slightly obsessive nature to try to plan and prepare things out I've always wanted to know the gender of the baby so that I would be ready. So my initial reaction to this idea was, no way! However I did want to entertain my husbands wishes and at least consider the option. So I left the thought in my mind over the next couple of days.

I thought that the more I considered the idea the more I would be opposed to it's craziness, but in actual fact the opposite has happened. I am now starting to think that it might actually be kind of fun to have a surprise! I mean really knowing the gender hasn't ever impacted my pregnancies that much other than obviously helping with name selection and of course fueling my shopping! But I think it could be kind of neat to just go into this blind not knowing what is coming my way and then have a lovely little bundle of pink or most likely blue handed to me at the hospital.

I dunno I haven't made a 100% final decision yet, but the more I wait and think, the more I feel this might just be a surprise baby. Don't get me wrong I know I'm going to go crazy with anticipation, but I think it will be kind of neat to experience both sides of the spectrum. And who knows this could be the last pregnancy- not set in stone yet though either!

So what do you think? Did you find out your baby gender or keep it a surprise? Any words of input for me? I'll let you know our final decision once it's been made!

Jordan

My Mind is Heavy

There has been much on my mind these past two days as there have been some very unexpected and dramatic events happen within my family (involving my parents and sister- don't worry our little boys are just fine.) Sadly I cannot share what is going on right now as it is very private but I am deeply concerned and cannot seem to pull my mind away from what is going on. I've felt pretty much useless since yesterday and can't seem to drag my thoughts onto any other topic. Though the information that we currently have is limited and what we do know has been exhausted through discussion there just isn't anything else I can seem to think about. All I can say right now is that my family is in need of a miracle and the prayers and faith of any of you who are willing to share them are greatly appreciated. I do hope to be able to share more with you if and when the time becomes appropriate but for now this will have to suffice.

A heavy hearted Jordan.

At The End of The Day & Some of my Goals

Hope I didn't get your hopes up, but this has nothing to do with the Les Mis song.

At the end of my day all I want to do is sit on my butt and do nothing.

What I'd love is to have some energy to do all the things that I think about doing for myself but don't have time to do during the day- ie. finishing up projects, crafts, reading, writing, planning for my future (lol) you know.

What I usually do is a combination of sitting on my butt for a bit and then doing all (or at least some) of the chores that need to be done so that we can function the next day- ie. cleaning the kitchen, putting away toys, finishing up the laundry I attempted to start during the day, tidying up all kinds of other places my kids managed to make a mess, you know all the fun stuff.

I'm not really sure why I'm sharing the lack of excitement in my life, but I guess I've just been thinking about trying to make better use of my time lately. So what do you do during your evenings after the kids go to bed?

For the next half of this very random and poorly written post I just wanted to finally write down some of my 2013 goals. I keep thinking about things that I want to do this year but I haven't taken the time to actually write then down. In no particular order, here goes.

1. Meal Plan. I'm the worst at this, but I finally printed off a very basic two week meal planner to help me get more organized. So far its working. Less stress at diner time when I already know what;s on the menu.

2. Make my bed every day. I'm sure you're all great at this but I'm about to admit that its hit and miss for me with making the bed. I know is seems so simple so I should be able to do it right?!

3. Have more patience with my kids. I can't lie I've been having a hard time lately and gotten really short and snappy with them, which I feel horrible about. I hate being "mean" to them but lately I've been struggling with being patient. I want to be a good mom so I know that I really need to focus on remembering that they are just and little and not necessarily trying to make me insane, by throwing food all over the floor, pulling out folded laundry, dumping every toy they own on the play room floor, pulling out all my Tupperware and scattering it all over the kitchen while I try to make dinner, etc. etc. you get the idea. Just remember to tale a breath before freaking out.

4. Developing better relationships with friends. I feel like a friend slacker. There are so many great women who I am acquainted with that I'd really love to be better friends with. I think friendships are important but I know I'm kind of a flaky friend. So this year I'm going to try to do more to develop my friendships.

5. Get organized. I used to be such an organized person. Then my kids happened. And well. I think that's all I need to say. One day at a time, I'm going to try to get my house more organized.

6. Be nicer to Dan. He's always the one that has to deal with my complaining, stressing and end-of the-day-I
-can't-take-any-more-these-kids-are-driving-me-insane-get-me-outta-here-right-now moments. I think it's pretty self explanatory I just need to be nicer to the guy that helps me through all my daily craziness.

7. Take more time for myself. Even if it's just something little each day, I know that it's important to do something for me and not the family, or work, or other people.

8. Be more grateful. I know that I have much to be grateful for, but I always get into these envious phases when I look at people around me and wonder why they are so lucky and have so much. I know comparing is HORRIBLE so I need to stop it at all costs. Problem is its hard! But I need to focus on what I do have in my life and that is plenty!

That's all I got so far. Wish me luck!

What are your 2013 goals?

Jordan

2013 Happenings

This morning I was thinking about what I was doing around this time last year. Many of you know that my hubby and I started our own residential painting business last January and kicked off the new year with a Groupon. So around this time last year we were swamped with emails and phone calls from hundreds of people looking to get a good deal. It was seriously overwhelming, and a little bit scary. We had no idea what we had signed up for when we did that deal with Groupon!

Now here we are a year later and things are much different, Dan is back in school and things with the business are not quite on the forefront as they were last January. We are still maintaining the business as a source of work while Dan is in school (it's awesome to be able to set your own schedule and find work as needed) but his primary focus right now is getting some courses so that he can apply to the Nursing program this coming fall. Say what?! I'm going to have a nurse for a husband?! You may think- strange I think- kinda hot. Ok and that's all I'm going to say about that. But really I'm pretty excited for this new venture. It has been a long journey for Dan to find a career path that he feels strongly about and I think we finally have success. I love and appreciate my husband and all that he has done to support and provide for our family. But he has always been searching for that something he would love to do. He is really passionate about Fire fighting but that industry has become increasingly competitive and a highly sought after position- so it's still a dream but one that we don't have a huge amount of control over the success of. In any case I'm happy that he is happy and that he has decided to go back to school.

In other news if you haven't already heard we're expecting our third child. It's something exciting that we are looking forward to this year. I am 12 weeks today and had my first prenatal check up. Everything was same old (I`ve heard the spiel twice before) but I did get to hear baby`s heart beat which is pretty exciting! It always makes the pregnancy more real for me after I hear the heart beat. Before then it`s just kinda like, well I feel sick,  I`m tired all the time, my pants are getting a little tight and I'm eating like a horse but I don`t really feel pregnant! But today I definitely felt pregnant and am starting to look that way too. Showing way earlier than with the first two, I guess that`s what happens third time around. I am also excited for our ultrasound in 6 weeks and we can find out baby`s gender! Any guesses? I'm trying not to think about until I get the ultrasound but it's not too far away now, so maybe I can think about it a little bit!

I had other things I was going to write about but I'm running low on steam so I think I'm going to sign out for now. But there will be more to follow. Hopefully I'll get the goals up by the end of this week.

Good Night- Jordan

Once Upon A Dream

I don't know about you but I have always been a dreamer.

There are things that I have dreamed of since I was a young girl that I still fantasize about today.

Though I know that most of these dreams will never be fulfilled, ie. becoming a big Broadway star, as I have come to accept the realities of life, I still like to think about them. Most of my dreams involve dance and performing as a professional artist. I often look at many of my friends who have become successful in their professional dance endeavours and feel a little pang of jealousy. While I am thrilled for them and the success they have found but I feel a little bit sad that I am not also sharing in the journey of success with them.

My biggest dream in life was to be a ballerina. A dream stifled at the early age of 8 when my ballet teacher explained to me that it was too bad that I had flat feet and bowed legs because I showed a lot of promise. My parents were encouraged to put me into orthodics (arch supports,) which they did, but it was already much too late. For those of you who know little about the ballet world I'll simplify things by saying that there is a very specific body mold that dancers must fit into in order to achieve success as a professional dancer. Never the less I was not deterred in anyway because I simply loved dance way too much to give it up. I continued to dance and pour all of my time, life and energy into it.

I decided to pursue a university degree in dance where I met with a lot of other challenges and nearly bowed out in defeat. But I somehow managed to pull through and graduated after 4 very trying years. During this time my flat feet became a larger problem than they ever had been and I spent several weeks barely able to walk let alone dance. It was at this time that I really accepted that it was unrealistic for me to try to achieve success as a dancer in anyway shape or form. There were other factors that contributed to these feelings too but there is not need to get into the "abuse" that I suffered at the hands of my university dance teachers.

In the end I realized that my love of dance would continue to be a love and passion that I could share with other young students rather than on stage with audiences.

And so I come to another dream I have had since a child, which was to be a dance teacher. I'm glad that I was able to achieve this dream as it made the other impossible dream that much easier to bear. I truly love to teach dance. Probably because it is something that I really really love. I can't  explain to you why I love dance so much, other than that I do. It's like a part of me that must live, and I feel so despaired and unhappy when it is not a part of my life. Teaching dance has brought me great joy over the years, and this is what leads to my other big crazy dream.

I have always, always dreamed of owning and operating my own children's/youth dance company. Not a school (though this could possibly one day lead to such an institution,)  but a company that serves the purpose of exposing young dancers to the professional dance industry, allowing them to work with professional choreographers and travel and perform all over the world. To me there would be nothing greater than to share my passion for dance with young dancers while also producing shows and creating new works to enrich both the lives of the performers and the audience members.

Sigh. It's a big dream, but one that I hope to achieve someday. There are many dance companies in Canada but not many children's dance companies. I know that there is a place for this and in time and in the right season it will happen. I just need to figure out HOW to make it all work! It`s been a dream that has been in my mind more recently in the past year or so than it has been for awhile and I am really making it a goal this year to stop putting it on the back burner and to start doing some work to get this project going. I`m not sure if it will happen this year or in 3 or 5 but I do know that I am actively pursuing the information and such that I need to find a way to make this dream a reality.

I hope that I will have new information to share about this big scary project as the year progresses. Where there is a will there is a way! Right?!

What are your big dreams that you've turned into realities? Give me your inspiring stories!

Jordan

A Bit From the Holidays

Well  the holidays are officially coming to an end and I have to admit that it's a little bit sad. I've really taken a break these past two weeks and it has been nice to be simply lazy! I've just sat back and enjoyed not having to work, prepare lessons, not having to drag the kids out to run all the various chores and errands, I pretty much stopped doing laundry and housework (what's that?!) and spent many an hour sitting on my butt doing what you could call nothing. Thank goodness I have a great husband who has been filling in for where I have been seriously slacking! I'm certain my house, children and husband will all be happy to see me make a come back as I've really let things go around here. Normally I'm pretty good at staying on track even over the holidays but with being pregnant I really just took the time to relax while I had the chance.

However next week it's back to reality- grocery shopping, cooking meals, cleaning up after the kids, doing laundry and back to work too. Normally I'm pretty excited to go back to real life but right now I'm just enjoying my freedom a little too much. Oh well all's well that ends well.

So before I get completely off track I just wanted to mention a few things that I/my family got to enjoy over the holidays.

1. Boxing Day Shopping!!! I have to admit it has been a few years since I had a really great boxing day shopping extravaganza, but I was fortunate enough to get one this year for a number of reasons. One- I had two extremely generous mall gift cards from my boss and competitive dance students which made it financially viable! Two- my kids are finally past the nursing stage, I think the past few years I had one or the other who was still breast feeding leaving me unable to leave for too long. Three- I have a great hubby to stay home with the kids who allowed me to disappear for the day  even though Marshal was throwing up and sick. And four- I had a great shopping buddy to go with! Rachel and I woke up bright and early and got to the mall around 8am. We were able to enjoy 6 blissful hours shopping to our hearts content. You might think I'm crazy but I really do love to shop, it brings me so much joy, and when you're not really spending any of your hard earned money and everything is on sale, who cares if you have to wait in line for 45 minutes! It's just a means to an end. Seriously a highlight of my vacation.

3. Les Miserables- It's such a fabulous musical and such a fabulous movie. My husband was even willing to go and watch it with me though he didn't really enjoy it, as musical theater is just not his cup of tea. But he went anyway and that's what's most important to me. It has been a long time since I saw Les Mis, and truthfully I have never actually seen a professional production of it (though it is something I plan to do before I die!) But it was just fantastic. It's such a great story and the performances were terrific. A highly enjoyable night out.

4. We took the kids skating! And by that I mean we attempted to take Marshal skating while pulling Cohen around the rink on a sled. It was actually pretty funny because I think Marshall assumed that the skates had some sort of magical powers that would lead to him just moving along the rink with no effort on his behalf. Haha. Lucky we brought a little chair for him to hold onto and then we found one of those ice bars to help new skaters. It was pretty cute as he tried to walk on the ice, after a little while he got bored and decided he'd rather go play on the play ground. Which we did for awhile. It was nice to get out of the house and enjoy a beautiful day as this was after about a week of being stuck in doors thanks to freezing cold and illness.

5. New Years Eve Dinner- We went out for Chinese food with our friends Barb and Jordan (her husband, yes we have the same name.) It was a bit of an ordeal getting us there as Barb made reservations and then we had to move them back a few times as Jordan (her hubby) kept being delayed in his return home, but we eventually got there and it was completely worth it! I love Chinese food and it's been a long time since we went out for it. It was a great evening- great food, great company and great way to spend New Years Eve. After stuffing ourselves to the brim Dan and I went home and stayed up to ring in the new year, something we have sadly not done in the past few years. I know it sounds pathetic but once you're parents you get boring fast and sleep is always much more appealing than staying up! Anyway I was determined that we would actually stay up this year and so we did. And by this I mean that Dan stayed up and watched a movie while I fell asleep. Then about 10 minutes before the countdown I woke up and we tuned into City TVs countdown and drank our Martenillis at midnight. I know you wish you were as cool as us!

6. Lunch Date with friends- we had the pleasure of going over the Glenn's house as a family and having a lovely lunch date. The kids played, the adults ate and we all had a delightful time. It was fun to hang out with these "old" friends or ours. Any they really aren't old friends as we are still friends with them, but we used to live in the same apartment building so we saw each other all the time. Of course we have both since moved on, once our families started to grow, so we don't see each other near as often anymore. It was fun to get together and hang out!

And I think that's all I got for right now. It wasn't a super exciting holiday but is was a nice one. I'm thankful for the break and the time I have had to spend with family and friends.

Jordan

Welcome 2013!

Well its a new year and time for a new take on blogging. I have to admit that things really fell apart last year and I'm feeling sad that I missed keeping a record of so many memories :( However it's a new year and time to make some resolutions to improve so I'm here and hoping to do much better this year. I've decided to make my blog private so that I'm less focused on trying to please the crowd and more focused on just keeping track of everything that is happening in life. This likely means that the quality of writing on my blog will diminish significantly, as I focus more on simply sharing the facts so that I don't miss the moments.

And for mow just a few notes about Christmas while they are semi fresh in my mind.

Dan participated in an EMR course the two weeks prior to Christmas. The course was full time for two weeks and was incredibly intense. He was at school all day, would get home have dinner, help get the kids ready for bed and then be studying all night long till 11pm and sometimes later. I'm pretty certain that I went to bed alone every night while he was in the course :( At the end of it all he passed the course with great success! And finally we were able to have him back, thanks goodness! Problem was that he finished on December 21 so it made Christmas seem a little sudden for us.


Despite all when Christmas rolled around 4 days later we were ready to rock and roll and had a lovely day. Marshal woke up bright and early as always and came into our bed to snuggle. After a half hour or so he kind of realized that it was Christmas and wanted to go down stairs to see if Santa had come and eaten his cookies. It was so cute to see his little face when he looked at the empty glass of milk and half eaten cookies. He said something like, "Santa come, he drink the milk!"  He thought it was just great and then when he turned around and saw the play kitchen that Santa brought for him he just walked over to it and started playing and exclaimed, "My kitchen, he bring my kitchen!"

The boys on Christmas Eve.

Marshal with his kitchen.

Having fun opening gifts.

He was really thrilled with the kitchen and pretty content to play with it while we got breakfast going, before Cohen woke up and my folks arrived. Cohen work up not too much later and our Christmas day guests arrived so we could eat and open gifts. We had a great time sharing gifts especially with the little boys. Christmas is so much better with little ones. They had a blast opening up their presents and playing with their new toys and generally just being cute.

I forgot to mention that our morning also consisted of getting the turkey in the oven! We decided to split the cooking between my mom and us, and by that I really mean my mom and Dan. Dan has turned into a real master chef lately and saw a cooking show on turkey dinner so he decided that he really wanted to do that this year. Thanks goodness because I wasn't up for that job! He did a fabulous job of taking care of that turkey and also cooking some other dishes later in the day.

Anyhow back to our Christmas day. After we were all sufficiently fed and gifted Dad and Mom headed back to the apartment to get the food in the oven while Auntie Rae and Aeron stayed to hang out with the boys and enjoy Christmas day at our house. We had a pretty lazy afternoon, watching Christmas movies and just chillin.

Dinner was at 4ish and it was a delicious feast! We had turkey, ham and roast beef (don't ask it's a Jamaican family thing) along with mashed potatoes, yams, homemade rolls, rice and peas, stuffing, carrots, beans, asparagus and cranberry sauce! Yummy yummy in my tummy. Everyone indulged until they could eat no more! Later a few of us managed to squeeze in some pumpkin pie and other treats but there was very little room.

And that pretty much concludes our Christmas day adventures. Food, family and fun are really all that are necessary to have a splendid holiday and we had a terrific combination of all three!

Now I'll try to get on here tomorrow night to talk a bit about the rest of our holiday break and some of our goals for the new year.

Here's to a wonderful 2013!

Jordan