Lately my attention has been drawn to several posts from other bloggers as well as media on the subject of women, and more specifically feminism and motherhood. I feel like there is a constant outpouring of opinions on these topics but for one reason or another they seem to really have taken a forefront lately.
feminism and motherhood
Let me begin by saying that I wouldn't ordinarily call myself a feminist simply because I feel that this word often has a bad association. However in the simple and exact definition of feminism I am undoubtedly 100% a feminist.
From the Merriam Webster Dictionary the definition of Feminism is:
The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
I absolutely and unquestionably feel that men and women should be treated equally and that we have the right to be treated equally in all situations and circumstances. Now this is where things may get a little interesting.
While I fully support the belief in gender equality I also fully support and believe that women should be the primary care givers for their children when possible.
Why is it that the world has decided that being a mother is somehow not good enough for a woman? Why is it that women who choose to stay home with their children are often frowned upon? Why has the world developed the opinion that in order to allow for the progression of feminism women should not get married, not have children, not care for a husband and instead seek after and attain lofty and sought after professional careers?
In my humble opinion this does not make ANY sense.
How will we have a future without the bearing of children? Who will teach, love, nurture and raise the leaders of tomorrow if mothers cease to exist? How can we have equality without the acceptance of all women's choices including those of women who choose to be, "house wives" and, "mothers." And furthermore who decided that being a mother was no longer right?
I am here to say that enough is enough. We are women our bodies are designed to bear children (those of us who are blessed this way.)
we are meant to be mothers
I have personally fought a battle within myself many times: of wanting a successful career and being a mother, of feeling like I'm not doing anything with my life while I mother my children and also feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities of motherhood, of waiting for the day I don't have to stay at home any longer and never wanting my children to leave my grasp, of dreaming what I could have done if I didn't have kids and thinking of what my future with children holds.
But then one day I realized that this battle was nonsense.
Yes I do think fondly about my days as a dancer. Yes I dream about what it would have been like to do more, be more, perform more, go to school longer. Yes I think it would have been spectacular to be successful and to be constantly doing what I want to do.
But this is a selfish life to live.
I chose to give life to others. I chose to create these little people and bring their spirits to earth. Why should I pass them off to someone else so they can be loved and cared for? I don't believe that I should. In fact I know that I should not. I believe that I am the best person in the world to love them, hold them, teach them, help them to achieve success and develop and grow into adults who will support and give back to their society.
I am a feminist and I am a mother
I believe these two go hand in hand. Who more wants equality for their sons and daughters than mothers? No one.
So lets stop telling girls, teenagers and women that they shouldn't aspire to be wives and mothers because there is nothing wrong with being a wife and a mother! In fact there is everything right about being a wife and a mother. Wives and mothers have more influence on the future than one may imagine. (Think along the lines of the Proctor and Gamble add that went viral a few days ago.)
Instead of telling girls, teenagers and women that being a mother isn't good enough we should be showing them and teaching them how to be effective leaders because that is what mothers are. We should be supporting mothers and praising them for their hard work and constant dedication. We should be telling the world that many of the troubles and woes of society could be fixed if every child were to have a good, kind and loving mother. I'm not saying that women can't also have a career while being a mother. Some women can do both and that is amazing, but for those of us who can't or simply don't want to lets stop making it seem that they are somehow unfortunate. They are not. We are not. We want to be mothers and that is enough for us.
Being a mother is enough. It is a noble, lifelong carer with no monetary reward. It is a day in, day out, 24 hour a day job that doesn't give many breaks. It may not be glamorous or even appealing but it is full of special moments that make it all worth while. It is a sacrifice of yourself and a putting aside of selfish and worldly endeavours. It is a choice that will be met with challenge and plenty of frustration. But it is the ultimate gift you can give to your children and your fellow men. Being a mother is being a guardian of the future. It is working hand in hand with God. Being a mother is absolutely and unquestionably the hardest job in the world but it is also the most special and sacred thing a woman can do.
In my humble opinion there is no greater thing a woman can do with her life than be a mother if she is given that opportunity. There is no greater way to contribute to society than to care for a part of its future. I am honored, humbled and grateful to have the blessing of being a mother. I love my children and know that they have taught and will continue to teach me to be a better person.
Jordan
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